You and Me!

Just a little layout I made using Follow Your Heart paper by My Minds Eye.

Alex and I are pretty much always SILLY! I love this photo of us. Just wanted to share. My baby girl is going to be 18 soon. I cant hardly believe it... She has had so many changes in her life. I know she is Strong and she is Brave and she is so beautiful inside and out. I would say my favorite quality is.... She is open and honest. You will never find her to be a gossip and if Someone tells her a secret she will take it to her grave.....{ even if she is angry with that person} Her integrity shines. She wants to join the Air Force. She wants to serve our country. I am so very proud of her! Alex, Baby Girl. I love you. So much more than you you will ever comprehend. Shine the light of Jesus everyday. He is so bright in your life. He will guide you!

Almost deleted...

It has not always amazed me how time flies... but it seems I blinked and here I am. What happened?

I was reading some of my blog posts, a year ago I was posting about my husband, family and disconnecting from my blog because sometimes you just have to give up some stuff on your plate. I do enjoy writing on my blog. I don't consider myself the english teacher, perfect in grammer and content sort of writer. I just write what is in my head. I almost deleted my blog because of those past posts. Yep, shame hit really hard. I am a woman of faith, driven by faith and I love my God. How could I say in one post My husband is amazing and in another I am divorcing him. Did I really want this for my life and for my children. No way, No how... BUT I do want love. I want my boys to see first hand how they are to treat the woman of their dreams one day. I want my daughter to know that God has someone special for her and not tell me everyday of her life she is not going to get married because of what she has seen. I don't want my kids to be stuck in an environment with 2 people who can't communicate or compromise. In the church... Divorce is frowned upon but the actions that drove a person to actually file are looked at as things in the past and we just need to get over it. Hello, our church leaders need to boldly address the issues and not enable the sin... come on, it is not always cookie cutter. We were asked in counseling... after several sessions of counseling. I thought I was being clear... Guess I wasn't. Is there pornography, infidelity and  abuse? Cause those are the reasons in the bible you can get divorced... Okay but what about the things God really hates... Proverbs 6: 16-19 ( I found this online while studying this morning... We all get stuck on one scripture but the whole word of God is our strength... It is our life book.)

Arrogant Eyes: Don’t look at others and hold yourself higher because you know more truths then they do, or because you have a gift that another does not. They could look at you the same way. We are not all the same.

If you feel the need for arrogance, or to be arrogant, look at what about that person makes you feel arrogant, and turn to your heart and ask, “Why does this bother ME?” Then fix it and the arrogance will be gone. If you don’t fix it, you will struggle as you try to, or choose to walk without arrogance.

John responded, “Master, we saw someone driving out demons in Your name, and we tried to stop him because he does not follow us.” “Don’t stop him,” Jesus told him, “because whoever is not against you is for you.” — Luke 9:49-50

A Lying Tongue: We aren’t to be saying things as truths in order to get ahead; or, to be seen as better than you are; or, to cover something shameful. We also don’t want to speak untruths purposely to appear smarter or more holy.

But that is not how you learned about the Messiah, assuming you heard Him and were taught by Him, because the truth is in Jesus: You took off your former way of life, the old man that is corrupted by deceitful desires; Since you put away lying, speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, because we are members of one another. — Ephesians 4:20-21, 25

Hands That Shed Innocent Blood: Destroying innocent or blameless people by killing their will, their dignity, their gift given by God. By putting people down in these areas as harmless as this one may seem, it allows for worse things to come in.

(This led to Saul’s desire to kill David. It started out emotionally and then physically.)

Saul was furious and resented this song. “They credited tens of thousands to David,” he complained, “but they only credited me with thousands. What more can he have but the kingdom?” So Saul watched David jealousy from that day forward. The next day an evil spirit from God took control of Saul, and he began to rave inside the palace. — 1Samual 18:8-10

A Heart That Plots Wicked Schemes: Speaking, thinking, wishing, spiteful, hurtful—by doing any of these only feeds the flesh. We need to train our hearts to purposely practice kindness, gentleness, etc. (Galatians 5:22-23). Otherwise we move nowhere.

Though they intend to harm you and devise a wicked plan, they will not prevail. —Psalms 21:11

Feet Eagar to Run to Evil: Going to places you know God isn’t in the middle of: TV, books, friends, parties, drugs, booze. Instead of running to Him you run to something “evil” for comfort. Take time to go to God and get right and then seek out what made you run, or want to run.

Finally be strengthened by the Lord and by His vast strength. Put on the armor of God so that you can stand against the tactics of the Devil. For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens.
— Ephesians 6: 10-13

Lying Witness Who Gives False Testimony: You don’t know or understand the truths from God, but are spreading around untruths to others and not allowing them the right to grow. Teach your spouse (understood that ‘spouse’ also meant children and/or family) what God shows you and the one listening needs to accept it as truth.

He answered them, “The secret of the kingdom of God has been granted to you, but to those outside, everything comes in parables so that they may look and look, yet not perceive; they may listen and listen, yet not understand; otherwise, they might turn back—and be forgiven.”

He also said, “Is a lamp brought in to be put under a basket or under a bed? Isn’t it to be put on a lampstand? For nothing is concealed except to be revealed, and nothing hidden except to come to light. If anyone has ears to hear, he should listen! Then He said to them, “Pay attention to what you hear. By the measure you use, it will be measured and added to you. For to the one who has, it will be given, and from the one who does not have, even what he has will be taken away.” —Mark 4:11-12, 21-25

One Who Stirs Up Trouble Among Brothers: Don’t gossip maliciously! Don’t tell a person that someone is doing something on purpose for the purpose that you know it will upset, bother or anger the person you are telling. If you do not know if it will bother them or not, even if you think it won’t, don’t say it if you INTEND to get a malicious reaction from the one you are telling. It will or could cause them to then sin in anger. If the one you are “gossiping” about is doing wrong – go to them and help them.

For we hear that there are some among you who walk irresponsibility, not working at all, but interfering with the work [of others]. Now we command and exhort such people, by the Lord Jesus Christ, that quietly working, they may eat their own bread. Brothers, do not grow weary in doing good. And if anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take note of that person; don’t associate with him, so that he may be ashamed. Yet don’t treat him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.
—2Thesaloanians 3:11-15

Sorry, A bit of a rant.

Watch ME do exactly as GOD has asked me.... Forever and with a pure heart!

It surprises, well actually now it really does not the judgement that has come against me. Yes... I filed for divorce. I did give up on my marriage. I was not kicked out. He did not leave me. I chose to walk away.  I did go against every teaching on marriage there is out there. I sure did. Because I know the plans God has for me... they are for GOOD not disaster!

Jeremiah 29:11

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

For those of you who really know me I am straight forward. I tell it like it is. In fact I say all the time " it is what it is"! What is the point of sugar coating or telling a half truth just to smooth over a situation. That is a temporary solution to the true problem! We all know that the whole truth comes out and BAM... you find yourself saying wow, I did not see that coming but you really did. You just believed the half truth yourself! When you are in the muck you can't see it. When you trust God and get in your quiet place with him. He will take your hand and guide you. I am by no means saying God told me to get a divorce. I am saying however. For MY life, MY situation and in MY prayer time. I was given a release and a peace the surpasses ALL understanding! The things that needed to happen to turn this all into a miracle were there. We both knew what to do. I can't make him and he can't make me. We decide.  Only I will answer for my decisions. and I am okay with that. God knows my heart and I don't have to defend it!

So here today is a post of a bunch of random thoughts. All of this because I was going to delete my blog and start over... But them I thought it is a bit of my life. Whoever wants to read it can. It is what it is... I loved my husband and did not ever want to go thru a divorce. I had to make choices. We all have to everyday.

Me time, Alone time.....equals Bored time!

Okay so I am one month into my separation... 11 more to go before the state of Louisiana will officially let me file for divorce. Everyday lends itself to a multitude of ups and downs. Tonight I am watching Wimbledon. Good movie just not satisfying... Facebook was not cutting it and I thought about pinning on Pinterest but my creative MOJO is so gone right now that I think going on there might actually send me straight into depression. I thought about getting some sort of Alcohol. Isn't that funny. I don't drink. I am not opposed to it, in fact I had a few this past weekend. Maybe a few too many but you don't need the details. Cosmopolitans were my best friend... That's all I have to say about that. I can do without the swift reality check of the pictures others { no name mentioned} paint of you. Do I care what He might say and what others might think? YES. Will I allow it to define me. NO.  I am not going to church right now... church as in the building. You know where EVERYONE goes on Sunday. Do "they"  even say God when THEY leave. I think I am closer to God than ever before! Judgement is awesome though. I am not in church so I must be a heathen, back slider! There is a scripture I looked up today when I became knee deep in a phone conversation which as always led to me in tears and hurting all over again. See you read the bible and you may not remember all the scriptures you read but they will come to you when you need them the most.

Matthew 7:21-23

New Living Translation (NLT)

True Disciples

 ²¹ “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. ²² On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ ²³ But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’

I know that Divorce is not Gods will. Believe me EVERYONE has told me that. But my question to you is.... Do you compromise the very person God created you to be to be someone you are not? Hard one. Especially when it means you have to choose God or your husband. 

I found some sort of Personality profile online... Here is something that really hit the nail on the head. I answered questions and this is what it spit back at me.

Rules are made to be broken, plans are made to be changed, and schedules are made to be altered. Anyone who's been around you for very long knows that is just part of the way you live. You don't like to be hemmed in by someone's idea of how a job should be done or a goal should be accomplished. Where others assume that the way to get something done is to follow whatever guidelines have been laid out, your idea of how to best get things done often involves making it up as you go along. You are as variable as a hawk in full flight - but like the hawk, you keep your eyes on the prize; even in the midst of turmoil you have a sense of where you need to go. You just have your own way of getting there.

To the surprise of some of your friends and associates, you do get things done, though. But maybe not on the timeline someone else had hoped for. In fact, you likely have a reputation as a legendary procrastinator, not because you're lazy or disinterested, but because following your instincts and creative sense takes longer. But the upside is that often your instincts turn the ordinary into something quite amazing; and some of the times, when you get everything just right, the ordinary original plans become an extraordinary achievement.

I would say that sums me up pretty darn good. I couldn't have said it better myself. What do you think? It is amazing to me tonight I sit in MY house. The place I actually want to kick my shoes off and get comfortable. Think about it! Someone I was talking to this weekend told me, When you feel the need to kick your shoes off it means you are comfortable. It got to a point I did not want to take my shoes off in my own home. Anyone who knows me...knows I want my shoes off. In my store you will often see me in my socks. The minute I open the door to my new home, off go my shoes. Where do you kick your shoes off?

So now I am watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Looks like I have made it a movie night. Everyone is sleeping. Peaceful.

Do I have a point to this post. ME TIME equals ALONE. But ALONE in this case is very good!

Back to the basics...

Well I have not written a blog post here in such a long time. It seems like this is the longest year I have been through in my life. I can sit here and say that opening my own store, following my heart, doing what I still believe to be what God designed me to be, trusting God for my dream and living it... Has to be the most rewarding accomplishment.

So we pray... and God answers. But what if we pray and the answer we get is not the one we wanted but it is Gods perfect plan and we had to walk through the storm before we saw the sun shine... Do you still jump for joy... Maybe after but in the middle of it, Are you Thankful?  I am so blessed to have my health. I am blessed with 5 beautiful children... smart, funny and healthy babies! I am blessed with my gifts and talents and a dream come true. Am I happy? yes and NO! Is it okay to want more? Is it okay to ask for a husband to love honor and cherish you... and to do it first so you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that HE would walk to the ends of the earth and back for you! I found this picture looking up images that were under the google search for EMBRACE LIFE. My word for 2012!

Why is it you don't ever want what you have because of the possibility of better but when you loose it you scramble to do whatever it takes to get it back. I read back through the last posts on my blog and WOW. I loved my husband. I would move mountains for him. It is crazy what a few months can do. Bad decisions, no communication, no affection... {lies} not telling the truth,  NO LOVE! How do we loose it? This quote says it all... You get to a point when you get tired, you stop chasing after something that  does not want to be caught. How does it feel for the one being chased, when you turn and look back and nobody is there?

I thought I did it all right. Prayed, agreed, Prayed some more... talked out every possibility, good and bad. My husband and I decided together we would go into business for ourselves and together build a legacy for our family. AKA... Create 365. There is divorce on both sides of our family. We did not ever expect to see a divorce between us. When is it time to stop chasing and walk away. Deep down I want to scream NEVER! It is so worth the fight. But then I ask myself... what are you fighting for? I am the one who was lied to, I am the one who does not feel loved, I am the one who chased someone who did not want to be caught, I am the one who had to change into something I wasn't for Him to be happy and he still wasn't happy. I am the one who walked in these shoes... and I chose to. I chose to be unhappy and let Him dictate another plan aside from God. I chose to let Him be in control and I chose to put Him before God. Those were not the right choices. I am awake and I know the plan My God has for me...

Jeremiah 29:11

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

I will take responsibility for my actions. Even though to everyone it may seem like I am making the worst decision... Please do not be offended. I know God hates divorce. I am a child of God just like anyone else and I know that when you do the work of your father that condemnation comes. Look at the nobodies that were rejected in the bible. They became great warriors for the Lord. All because they had a willing heart to do what God asked... Even if it was not our perfect plan or exactly what we prayed for. I think my Father in heaven specifically picked this life for me and I know that blessings will come with a willingness to move forward.Be passionate about your choices. Life is short. you blink and it is over... for some sooner. You will never know what another is going thru until you walk a day in their shoes. I certainly do not wish my shoes on anyone. 

Who am I kidding...

To try to keep up the store and 2 blogs and facebook and more important being a mom and a wife and a friend and try to find time in there to create.... Hahahahahaha...I do not use the word busy anymore... I think it is an excuse. You make your self available for the things you want to do... so saying to someone sorry I can't make it I am too busy or didn't give you a call friend because well I was too busy... We say yes to so many things we don't really want to do throughout the day... that when the one thing that comes up we would rather be doing we can't because the plate is too full... Well I am learning the "art" of saying NO.

My husband and I have agreed on a few things and that is Family first always and forever... no matter what. We are now proud business owners bringing art and music to the community.  I followed my heart and the dreams I found hidden deep inside and opened Create 365. The place for you to find your happy place. I think it is so important in the hustle and bustle to find just a few moments or grab all the ones you can to create or do something that makes you HAPPY...


My husband has finally started Your Event Video. He captures just the right moments on your special day... wedding, graduation, events, meetings, Etc.... This is wonderful for him because he enjoys it. He has also been heavy into all the logistics and legal documents to starting a non-profit organization...
The Classical Guitar Society of Louisiana established October 15th, 2010... Jasin just took a trip to visit the Austin Classical Guitar Society where he saw first hand the impact the program has made on High School students. We are so very excited about the journey God has set us on. Taking a leap of faith is so worth it.

Alexandria is finishing her Sophmore year of High School... Where does the time go? She is a part of the Civil Air Patrol and has a desire to go to the Air Force Academy... My daughter is flying planes before she learns to drive. We are so proud of her...

The boys are just being boys... They all have their own sweet personalities and I enjoy every minute I have with them...

So now in a nut shell you are up to date on all our family happenings... now I wanna say... I am not going to be posting here anymore... I have been blogging everyday on the Create 365 blog... inspiration, devotionals and soon to be video announcements with tutorials, the latest products, shopping experiences and more... Same piece of me just different blog location. Hope to see you there. You know how I love comments! Create 365 is your home away from home... the blog will keep that down to earth home feeling. Just so all my  far away friends know... We have the webstore site complete and now we have the camera...so Check the Create 365 blog... July 1st for the launch of our new webstore! Complete with kits, projects, handmade items, and of course scrappy goodness.

I just want to say... I know I have not been visiting my bloggy peeps at all... I want you to know I am always thinking about you and find seconds to swoop through your pages to stay up to date on what you are all up to. I miss the old days when I could just sit on here all day and feel like I am a part of your world... Life is a journey and this past year was one of growth... finding peace and now I am onto patient endurance... Hubby and I almost did not make it through this past year... lots going on... I would not take it back for anything... as rough as it was I learned so much. I experienced so much, I found love again, I found what it truly means to be a mother and I followed dreams...How amazing is that?!?! It is important to be sensitive to the fact that everyone is going through something and no matter what the degree that something is,  it is rocking your world or theirs. Just be there. be a friend. Listen and wait.

Hugs...Amy