Me time, Alone time.....equals Bored time!

Okay so I am one month into my separation... 11 more to go before the state of Louisiana will officially let me file for divorce. Everyday lends itself to a multitude of ups and downs. Tonight I am watching Wimbledon. Good movie just not satisfying... Facebook was not cutting it and I thought about pinning on Pinterest but my creative MOJO is so gone right now that I think going on there might actually send me straight into depression. I thought about getting some sort of Alcohol. Isn't that funny. I don't drink. I am not opposed to it, in fact I had a few this past weekend. Maybe a few too many but you don't need the details. Cosmopolitans were my best friend... That's all I have to say about that. I can do without the swift reality check of the pictures others { no name mentioned} paint of you. Do I care what He might say and what others might think? YES. Will I allow it to define me. NO.  I am not going to church right now... church as in the building. You know where EVERYONE goes on Sunday. Do "they"  even say God when THEY leave. I think I am closer to God than ever before! Judgement is awesome though. I am not in church so I must be a heathen, back slider! There is a scripture I looked up today when I became knee deep in a phone conversation which as always led to me in tears and hurting all over again. See you read the bible and you may not remember all the scriptures you read but they will come to you when you need them the most.

Matthew 7:21-23

New Living Translation (NLT)

True Disciples

 ²¹ “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. ²² On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ ²³ But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’

I know that Divorce is not Gods will. Believe me EVERYONE has told me that. But my question to you is.... Do you compromise the very person God created you to be to be someone you are not? Hard one. Especially when it means you have to choose God or your husband. 

I found some sort of Personality profile online... Here is something that really hit the nail on the head. I answered questions and this is what it spit back at me.

Rules are made to be broken, plans are made to be changed, and schedules are made to be altered. Anyone who's been around you for very long knows that is just part of the way you live. You don't like to be hemmed in by someone's idea of how a job should be done or a goal should be accomplished. Where others assume that the way to get something done is to follow whatever guidelines have been laid out, your idea of how to best get things done often involves making it up as you go along. You are as variable as a hawk in full flight - but like the hawk, you keep your eyes on the prize; even in the midst of turmoil you have a sense of where you need to go. You just have your own way of getting there.

To the surprise of some of your friends and associates, you do get things done, though. But maybe not on the timeline someone else had hoped for. In fact, you likely have a reputation as a legendary procrastinator, not because you're lazy or disinterested, but because following your instincts and creative sense takes longer. But the upside is that often your instincts turn the ordinary into something quite amazing; and some of the times, when you get everything just right, the ordinary original plans become an extraordinary achievement.

I would say that sums me up pretty darn good. I couldn't have said it better myself. What do you think? It is amazing to me tonight I sit in MY house. The place I actually want to kick my shoes off and get comfortable. Think about it! Someone I was talking to this weekend told me, When you feel the need to kick your shoes off it means you are comfortable. It got to a point I did not want to take my shoes off in my own home. Anyone who knows me...knows I want my shoes off. In my store you will often see me in my socks. The minute I open the door to my new home, off go my shoes. Where do you kick your shoes off?

So now I am watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Looks like I have made it a movie night. Everyone is sleeping. Peaceful.

Do I have a point to this post. ME TIME equals ALONE. But ALONE in this case is very good!