Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Back to the basics...

Well I have not written a blog post here in such a long time. It seems like this is the longest year I have been through in my life. I can sit here and say that opening my own store, following my heart, doing what I still believe to be what God designed me to be, trusting God for my dream and living it... Has to be the most rewarding accomplishment.

So we pray... and God answers. But what if we pray and the answer we get is not the one we wanted but it is Gods perfect plan and we had to walk through the storm before we saw the sun shine... Do you still jump for joy... Maybe after but in the middle of it, Are you Thankful?  I am so blessed to have my health. I am blessed with 5 beautiful children... smart, funny and healthy babies! I am blessed with my gifts and talents and a dream come true. Am I happy? yes and NO! Is it okay to want more? Is it okay to ask for a husband to love honor and cherish you... and to do it first so you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that HE would walk to the ends of the earth and back for you! I found this picture looking up images that were under the google search for EMBRACE LIFE. My word for 2012!

Why is it you don't ever want what you have because of the possibility of better but when you loose it you scramble to do whatever it takes to get it back. I read back through the last posts on my blog and WOW. I loved my husband. I would move mountains for him. It is crazy what a few months can do. Bad decisions, no communication, no affection... {lies} not telling the truth,  NO LOVE! How do we loose it? This quote says it all... You get to a point when you get tired, you stop chasing after something that  does not want to be caught. How does it feel for the one being chased, when you turn and look back and nobody is there?

I thought I did it all right. Prayed, agreed, Prayed some more... talked out every possibility, good and bad. My husband and I decided together we would go into business for ourselves and together build a legacy for our family. AKA... Create 365. There is divorce on both sides of our family. We did not ever expect to see a divorce between us. When is it time to stop chasing and walk away. Deep down I want to scream NEVER! It is so worth the fight. But then I ask myself... what are you fighting for? I am the one who was lied to, I am the one who does not feel loved, I am the one who chased someone who did not want to be caught, I am the one who had to change into something I wasn't for Him to be happy and he still wasn't happy. I am the one who walked in these shoes... and I chose to. I chose to be unhappy and let Him dictate another plan aside from God. I chose to let Him be in control and I chose to put Him before God. Those were not the right choices. I am awake and I know the plan My God has for me...

Jeremiah 29:11

New Living Translation (NLT)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

I will take responsibility for my actions. Even though to everyone it may seem like I am making the worst decision... Please do not be offended. I know God hates divorce. I am a child of God just like anyone else and I know that when you do the work of your father that condemnation comes. Look at the nobodies that were rejected in the bible. They became great warriors for the Lord. All because they had a willing heart to do what God asked... Even if it was not our perfect plan or exactly what we prayed for. I think my Father in heaven specifically picked this life for me and I know that blessings will come with a willingness to move forward.Be passionate about your choices. Life is short. you blink and it is over... for some sooner. You will never know what another is going thru until you walk a day in their shoes. I certainly do not wish my shoes on anyone. 

1 comment:

  1. You have every right to live your life in peace. You are so strong!!! What a beautiful example for your children! Wishing you the very best, and much happiness in the future!


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